Caring too much what others think of us…This is something that a lot of us are guilty of. We care way too much what other people think of us. I truly believe that as you get older, you care less and less what others think of you.
Now I remember back in highschool, I cared way too much about what people thought about me. I would try to wear name brand clothing, just to seem cool. I did my hair every day and I always had my outfit for each day planned to a T. And at some point between late highschool and mid college, I stopped caring so much about what other people thought.
Today I’d like to give some tips on how not to care as much about what others think of you.
Step 1: Build Your Confidence
In order to start not caring what other people think, you need to first build your confidence. To help you with this, I encourage you to try things/activities that are out of your comfort zone. You can try cooking new meals, sewing, mountain climbing, or traveling to places you’ve never been (even if those places are only within a few minutes of where you live).
Another way to build your confidence is to follow your dreams. If you are on your way to becoming the person you want to be, then you are sure to love yourself. You can also try to control your thoughts. If you find yourself starting to think negatively and being tough on yourself, try to stop and change your way of thinking (easier said than done I know).
Step 2: Have Standards
So once you start building your confidence, you will want to set standards for what you want in the people that are in your life. Now I’m not talking about those people who have 500 things on a list of what they want in a partner. I’m talking about having standards for how you want people in your life to treat you.
Here are some tips for this:
-Stay away from selfish people
If your friend always talks about themselves but never asks how you’re doing, it might be time to move on.
-Stay away from people that gaslight
Gaslighting consists of anyone that hurts you and then turns it around to make you feel/look guilty. These are NOT people that you want in your life as they are toxic and never take responsibility for their own actions.
Step 3: Avoid the Gossipers
You know those people that always seem to have drama going on in their lives and are always gossiping about other people? Get those people out of your life. Because if they are gossiping about others in front of you, imagine what they are saying about you when you aren’t around.
Step 4: Stand up for Yourself
Whether it’s in your personal or professional life, you have to stand up for yourself. Because at the end of the day, the only person that can vouch for you is you. For example: I know some people get nervous to share ideas in work meetings because they think that it will sound stupid. My advice: If you are in a meeting and you have an idea-share it! Because I guarantee that that idea is not as stupid as you think. In fact, it’s probably a good idea.
There are other ways you can stick up for yourself in both your personal or professional life. For work, you can keep a list of all the tasks you do and then when it comes time for a review, you’ll have your list of reasons why you should get that promotion/raise. In your personal life, make a list of reasons why you love yourself.
Step 5: Build a Thick Skin
This is something that you learn overtime. You’ll learn to take criticism better and better overtime. If you made a mistake, admit it and make a note so that you don’t make it again next time. The truth is, nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. Don’t let it get you down. You can’t get upset every single time you make a mistake in life. Mistakes are what help us grow and learn. They are a part of life.
Step 6: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
This could be in comparison to salary, the clothes you wear, the friends you have, the person you are dating, etc. Comparing yourself to others is the worst thing you can do. Everyone is on a unique and special journey of their own. So why would you want to be just like someone else in what you wear, what you make etc?
I’ve always been someone that loved being different. Example: Most of my friends hate being scared. Me? I love it! I proudly still watch horror movies and go haunted hayrides. Another example: My boyfriend Erich enjoys watching football. Am I a big sports fan? No. But do I watch some games with him to be supportive? Yes, of course.
I don’t pretend to be a big sports fan though and that’s okay. Because there’s a difference between being supportive and pretending to be something I’m not. I’m not afraid to admit what I like and don’t like. And I respect friends/family that have different interests/opinions than me.
We are all unique and special. And we can definitely learn a lot from people that are different from us. That’s why I appreciate all of my friends/family for different reasons.
Going along with this, if someone doesn’t want to be friends with you because you don’t have the latest Gucci bag or because you don’t make the same salary as them, then you have to believe in yourself enough to know that they are the one’s missing out. It’s their loss, not yours. Who’s meant to be in your life will be and who’s not meant to be, will eventually leave. You just have to trust that everything will work out the way it’s supposed to. You can’t worry about why someone isn’t texting you back. Instead ask yourself: “Why do I care?”
Don’t waste time thinking about someone who’s not spending time thinking about you. Truthfully? Not everyone in life is going to like you and you aren’t going to like everyone. And that’s okay. You can’t care what everyone around thinks about you. You should only take in the opinions of the people closest to you and even then, your opinions may differ and that’s okay.
Love yourself and if someone doesn’t like you then show them the door. Good riddance.
Once you care less what people think of you, you’ll feel empowered and relieved. It is truly a great feeling.
Hope you are all staying safe and healthy. And as always thanks for reading!
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