As we all realize at some point or another, life is always changing. Nothing stays the same forever. I find that just when I’m starting to fall into a routine that life has a way of shaking things up. I can honestly say that a lot of change has happened in my life over the past 2 years. Of course some changes are good and some are bad. But at some point, you’ll look back at your life and realize how much has really changed.
A lot of people get stuck in their routines. They are afraid of things that change or mess with their routines. The thought of things being different makes some people anxious. There are however, some people that thrive off of change. They enjoy new challenges and opportunities. They like a schedule that takes them different places each week or a schedule that presents new learning opportunities.
When you experience change, you might think back to the way things used to be. Maybe you think about the people you used to hang out with, where you used to live or the job you used to have and miss it. But if I’ve learned anything in life it’s that you have to keep moving forward. Today I want to share some tips for living in your present and planning for the future rather than dwelling in the past.
- Don’t Dwell on the Past
It’s okay to think of the past and appreciate it but don’t get stuck in it. What I mean by this is that it’s nice to think about memories you had with loved ones or how much you liked your former coworkers etc. But when you start thinking “Well maybe if I had done this instead of this things would have been different etc,” then you are going down the wrong path.
Whether we like it or not, everything happens for a reason (even if we don’t quite understand the reason why). But we have to trust that there’s a reason that everything in our lives turned out the way it did. Whether that is due to a higher power or simply a series of decisions is up to the individual.
Your life is a book and the past was a previous chapter. So love it, admire it, and read it from time to time. But you can’t change it.
- Think About Your Future
This sounds obvious but when I say this I mean to think realistically about the future. Don’t say, “In 2 years I’m going to be a millionaire.” Or “In a year I’m going to be married,” when you don’t even have a significant other currently. Let’s make some realistic goals for ourselves.
If this is overwhelming to you, start small. Ask yourself, “What do I want to accomplish by this time next year?.” Do you want to spend more time on a hobby of yours such as painting, writing, playing an instrument, etc?
For example, in the beginning of this year I said to myself, “I want to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle.” Now anyone could say that. But you actually need to make a plan of what you will do to make that happen. In my case, I decided to start tracking everything I was eating daily. That way, I would see how much I was eating and how much fat, sugar, carbs and cholesterol I was intaking on a daily basis. From there, I started calorie counting a few days a week to help stay on track.
Another step I took was to exercise more. We got an elliptical for our apartment and when it was nice out we went for walks. So not only did I say I wanted to do something but I took the steps to actually implement it. Whatever you want in life: Whether it’s a new job, kids, money, a house, etc. you need to think about the steps needed to make that happen. Because if you are happy with your life now, then you don’t need to indulge yourself in the past as much.
- Memories of those we have Lost
For those of you who don’t know, I lost my father 2 years ago after a long battle with cancer. He was a smart, loving, adventurous, passionate and family orientated man. He was an amazing father with a successful career and he had many people that loved him. I, more than anyone understand what it’s like to reminisce back to when he was around. I think back on our family camping trips or family parties and I smile at the beautiful memories that I have of him.
When we lose someone that we are close to, it can be tough to think about the future. Because in a way, we feel as though we are moving forward without them. When I moved out of my childhood home, it was strange for me because it was a big step and yet part of me felt strange moving forward. Like one chapter had closed and the next opened.
But the thing you have to remember is that whoever you lost-would want you to succeed and be happy in life. They want you to take that job promotion or buy that house, etc. If that person truly loved you, they want you to be happy. I believe personally that my father watches over me and that if he saw me crying or moping around about my memories with him that he would want me to get up and enjoy my life.
I’m not saying that you can’t ever reminisce, of course you can and I do. But don’t let it prohibit you from moving forward in your life. That’s not what your loved one would have wanted for you.
- Accept Yourself, Love Yourself and Forgive Yourself
Part of healing from your past starts with forgiving yourself. Sometimes you may think back on decisions you made or things you have said and regret. We are all human and we all make mistakes but you have to accept your mistakes and forgive yourself for them.
Now my whole life, I have been a perfectionist. I used to be so hard on myself everytime I made a mistake. But at some point over the last few years, I’ve learned to ease up on myself. Whether it;s at work, with friendships, or family members we are all going to make mistakes in life. All we can do is accept that we made a mistake, understand how not to do it again, and apologize for it. The best you can do is learn from your mistakes and realize that if you never made any mistakes then you would never learn anything.
You have to accept and forgive your past mistakes in order to move forward. And if you feel you need to apologize to someone in order to feel better, then do it. Your past is a chapter in your book. It made you who you are today. So accept it, forgive yourself, and love your growth. Because if you haven’t changed much from who you were 10 years ago, then you really haven’t matured. You should be always changing, learning and growing.
- Accept & Embrace Change
As I mentioned in the beginning of the blog, change can be seen from two perspectives. Life is going to change whether we want it to or not. My advice, embrace change. See it as an opportunity. Try to find a positive side to a change in your life. I know this is tough, especially in 2020 but try.
An example, 2020 was not the best for me. I got laid off for 4 months after moving into my first apartment. But some positives would be: I got to move in with my boyfriend and our relationship is stronger than ever. 2020 also gave me time to appreciate all the wonderful friends and family that I have in my life.
I know it’s tough sometimes, but we have to try and accept the changes in our lives and search for the positives.The key to growth in life is change and if anything-2020 has definitely made all of us stronger.
If you have been having trouble thinking about the future, I hope this helped. I know that it is tough to make big moves right now, with the uncertainty of the pandemic and all. But at least try to take this time to heal from your past and make goals/plans for the future. 2021 is coming, and I can’t wait!
Topics We Often Think About 