I’ve been thinking a lot lately about positivity. Are you a positive person? Do you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist? Does your mindset really impact your life? I would like to hear from all of you. What are your thoughts on positivity?
I’ve been really trying to implement positivity into my life. And today I want to discuss some things I’ve been doing and avoiding to help my mindset.
- Negative People
Everyone knows these people, the ones that always have something to complain about. They could be someone in your class, at your work, a friend, or even a family member. You have to mentally prepare yourself before you see these people or hang out with them. Because you know that they will have something negative to say or something to complain about.
If you notice when you are around this person, your energy feels drained. And if you are an empath like me, it really affects your mood. Their negativity weighs on you. Even if you were in an amazing mood when you arrived to hang out with them, you’ll leave feeling down. My advice for these people is to avoid them. I mean yes, you could try talking to them first and letting them know you feel they are negative, but I don’t necessarily see that ending well. Obviously, you can’t always avoid these people especially if you see them at work or school.
And if you can’t avoid these people. Then try to turn around what they are saying into a positive thing. For example, maybe Peggy from work is complaining that they have to work late that night. You could try to bring up the brightside by saying “Yes, it is unfortunate to have to work late, but hey at least you get paid overtime. That’s extra money to spend on yourself.” And then if Peggy comes back and says “I can’t spend it on myself, I have 5 kids.” Then you say “Well, it can’t hurt to treat yourself to a nice coffee drink or an outfit every now and again Peggy.” Then if she keeps going with the negativity then hey, at least you tried to help. You can only do so much for people.
- Surround Yourself with People Who Believe in You
This is extremely important. If you are friends with someone who doesn’t think you’ll get that promotion you’ve always wanted or your dream job, then say goodbye to that friend. You need people in your life that believe in you. People that cheer for you when you get a new job. People that know that good things are coming your way. People that care about your interests and your career.
Now don’t get me wrong, there’s a difference between being realistic and being a downer. For example, if your friend tells you that they want to be an astronaut in the next year but they studied Liberal Arts in college and have done nothing similar to that as a career or a hobby, then you have to keep it real with them. Tell them that that may not be a realistic goal to have with the path they are currently going on.
But if your friend is applying for their first apartment or competing to get a promotion at work, then be happy for them, encourage them, and support them. Because nothing is better than having a good support system around you.
- Positive Affirmations
Now, I’m not saying everyone needs to do these but they have helped me. I downloaded an app that has different categories such as Success, Beauty, Confidence. And when you get into those sections, you can select certain positive sayings or quotes. Once I select those I go through a few of them each morning and I either read them to myself or say them out loud.
An example of one of the affirmations might be “I alone control my attitude.” Or “I love challenges, they bring out the best in me.” This may not sound like much but sometimes I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and I need to hear these. It helps shift what could have been a bad day to a better one.
Yes, there are days when I don’t believe some of the affirmations I’m saying to myself. But that’s all part of the journey. You keep repeating these things to yourself, daily until you begin to believe them. Think about what they mean and build yourself up overtime.
- Build Yourself Up
Now this goes along with my last point. You have to be an advocate for yourself. You need to work on loving yourself. Because if you don’t love yourself, then how is anyone else supposed to properly love you? You can’t rely on others for self acceptance and love. Because when something goes wrong with that boyfriend or friend and they aren’t in your life anymore, then you are going to lose that love for yourself.
Know your worth. Know your strengths. Know your weaknesses. Know yourself and love yourself. Because there isn’t anyone else like you out there. You have talents to bring to the table. Also, everyone is beautiful in their own way. So embrace your beautiful body and looks. If you need help with this I follow a few body positivity YouTubers that really helped me accept and love my body by just watching their videos. Just comment below of you’d like for me to list them.
- Build Others Up
Don’t be one of those people that always talks about and makes everything about themselves. Build those around you up. Give them a hug when they are sad. Send them a text telling them you are thinking of them. Buy them a gift for no reason at all. Be kind to people. Encourage your friend to make that move or encourage your sister to take that class.
Yes, you have to build yourself up, but you also want to be there for others. Help your community. Do something outside of yourself. Because after a while, thinking about your own problems all the time will just put you deeper into darkness.
I know I always feel better after seeing a friend or family member. Not because I got to talk about my problems but because I got to hear how they are doing and what they are going through. I got to get away from my own problems for a bit and think of someone else. Be a good sister/brother, friend, cousin, etc. and check on the people around you.
- Keep Going
Now we have all been through some tough times in life. It’s easy to let those times bring you down. It’s easy to let traumatic events consume you. I lost my dad 2 ½ years ago to cancer. That time a few months before his death and a few months after his death were some of the toughest of my life. But what I learned is, and what I’m sure my dad would want, was for me to keep going.
Because not to be cliche, but sometimes the only way out is through. Sometimes, life brings us pain and challenges. And during these times, It’s okay to be mad, or sad. But you can’t let those feelings consume you. Because we all go through tough times. And sometimes we don’t know why things had to be the way they were. We may never know why things happened the way they did. But you have to keep going.
I was very fortunate during my tough time. I had so many friends and family that were there for me. People that checked on me and my family. If you are going through a painful time right now, reach out to a friend or connect with a therapist. Because I assure you are not alone. You are loved and the world is better with you in it.
And it’s these dark times that make us appreciate the good times so much more. Remember the good things in your life. Say them to yourself daily. And if you are having a bad day or a rough patch that is okay. But tell yourself it’s going to get better. Because it is.
- It’s the Little Things
One of my favorite quotes of all time and one I have mounted on my apartment wall is “Everyday may not be good, but there is something good in everyday.” -Alice Morse Earle
Maybe you are having an awful day but your mom gives you a hug or your boyfriend brings you chocolate. Or maybe you got devastating news but you walked out and the sun was shining. Everyday is not going to be perfect. But you have to take in these little things that bring you joy.
Everyday, write down or think of what you are grateful for. For example, “I am grateful to have a roof over my head. I am grateful to have food on the table. I am grateful for the friends and family in my life.” Life can be a beautiful thing if you take a minute to appreciate it. And if you keep reminding yourself how awesome it can be, then you will create a positive mind.
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