Are you doing it for you or for social media?

It’s a typical day and you are scrolling on TikTok or Instagram. You see friends of friends posting pictures or videos of them traveling to the best new restaurant in town. Or you’ll see pictures from their latest vacation to Paris or Disney World showing how much fun they had. You get a little bit of fomo-fear of missing out on the best vacation spots or the coolest restaurants around.
But the question is-how much of what you are seeing is actually real?Today I want to discuss the perception of social media and how it influences what you do or think.

If you are in your thirties or older, you’ll remember the days of early social media. Myspace was the next best thing back in or around 2006. You would log in, check friend requests, check comments and messages and add a bazillion pictures to albums about nothing. People would literally add an entire album with about 300 photos from their family 4th of July party. I remember being that kid taking 400 photos with my friends in the backyard for no reason whatsoever.

It was the early days where no one knew what should be posted or not posted so we ended up posting everything. I’m pretty sure in the early days of Facebook I posted updates to my profile such as “Bored, text me.” Or “Getting ice cream.” Back then, none of us knew where the line was and we were slowly sinking into an online community of people that probably wouldn’t even be able to pick us out on the street if they saw us in real life. It was all about numbers. How many friends can I get? How many likes can I get? What about comments?

As we all know, times have certainly changed when it comes to social media. But some things have stayed the same. I’m sure you still have those people on social media that post daily but I’m sure you also have friends that rarely post. Influencers also changed the game because essentially posting on Instagram or TikTok is their job. Engagement is how they make their money. Lets take them out of this equation for a second and focus on everyday, regular people that don’t rely on social media for their income.

There are a few questions to think about here:
How often is acceptable to post on social media?
How much detail of your life should be posted online?
How much of what you are posting is real?
Why are you posting this?

#1-I think how often you post on social media is up to you. You just have to keep in mind that random people online are going to know a lot about you if you post daily, so be careful with that.
Personally, I think that as long as your posting isn’t taking you away from being out in the world then it’s okay. For example-If you are taking time away from friends and family just to take the time to post online then perhaps don’t. Because you are taking away quality time that you cannot get back. You can always post about it later if you really want. You also want to make sure you are spending more time in your “real life” than your online life. Make sure you are reaching out to friends regularly and not just arguing with random people online instead.

#2-I think that you have to be really careful about posting your children online. I’ve seen a lot of people post their children but blur their faces so that they are not recognizable. It’s tough because kids cannot consent to having their pictures posted online. I remember the days of taking pictures and hanging them on your wall or putting them in albums to look at later. There is something special about some photos being just for you and friends or family to look at. I believe not everything needs to be posted online but maybe I’m just old school. Personally, I post pictures that bring me joy.

#3-Nowadays, it’s tough to tell how much of what is being posted is real. People use photo editing or AI to produce videos and photos. I think we have all been guilty of editing photos from time to time. But what I really want to discuss is what percentage of that person’s life is really a fun vacation or outing? Most people only post the highlights of their life: their wedding day, a beach day, a birthday party, a fun vacation. But all of these people live regular lives. They work, they take care of family/pets/kids, they pay bills, they clean/cook. Not every part of your life is glamorous and I want you to keep that in mind when you are scrolling. You can’t let someone’s best moments make you feel like you are missing out on something. Because we all have highlights to share but we all live normal lives with normal ups and downs as well. Nobody’s life is perfect no matter what social media wants you to believe.

#4- This is one of the biggest questions. Why do you post? What about the photos/videos you want to post makes you feel inclined to post them? Are you posting because you are trying to  impress people? Are you trying to compete with other people?Or are you posting because something brings you joy? Are you posting because you like the photos you took and want to share with the world? We need to be mindful about why we are posting pictures and videos. Are we doing it for views and engagement? Because in my opinion that will set you up for failure every time. You can’t expect likes and views. You have to be okay with whatever the outcome is.

Because the truth is, social media isn’t real life. It’s only a small percentage of your life. It means so much more to me when I show a friend a photo in person and they tell me how much they like it than 50 people liking my photo online. A lot of my friends and family have slowly moved away from social media and I understand it. It’s a rabbit hole that a lot of people get sucked into. After all the scrolling and posting, I’m not sure that we get anywhere. We are just waiting for the instant gratification that it can bring. But what happens when we don’t receive that or when it stops being fun? 

Here’s my advice, use social media as you see fit, but don’t let it run your life. Go out with friends. Spend time with family. These are the people that truly care for you and their opinions matter more than the thousands on social media. Stop spending so much time strolling. Put the phones down and go on a real life adventure.

Thanks so much for reading!
Feel free to answer this question in the comments. I want to hear all your opinions!
How often should non-influencers be posting on social media?